Hmpph!! That is a good one. Well, for people who didn't get the CIT town funds, here is the explanation. I work at my school's public IT sites as an IT Consultant and as consultants our main job is to sort print outs. Students print at a rate of a few thousand printouts per hour. Just imagine doing this for 4 hours continously and then read the poem again. You have to find it funny. Tell me if you don't. I will refer you to my psychologist friend (.. :)).. just kidding).

There are two different kind of people. One with goals and the others without them. I would classify them as winners and losers. I was a loser until recently, working for weekends to come with no sense of direction, with a sense of emptiness. It kills your soul, literally kills.

Now, I have goals. I even write them down and put a date for them The goals are for the next two years. They align with my goals for the next 10 years. What has that changed in me? Everything, just everything. Now, I don't mind the daily hassles. I don't get into arguments. I don't get upset about people. Goals, they change your life. They help me look long-term and make me forget the various issues that are insignificant compared to my dreams.

I feel complete, full, ready to meet stuff head on. I am new person. Thanks to the people around me who got me introduced to this awesome way of life.

I have always wondered, why i watch and enjoy english soap shows like Friends, That 70's show, Desperate Housewives etc more than the Tamil soap shows like... my goodness, i cant even name a few but i just remember they had something to do with uncles and aunts, aunts mostly. And what these aunts do mostly is cry. Well, thats one huge reason not to watch these shows but well i got a more sound reason yesterday when i was watching one of them with my grandmother who incidentally can't remember what happened in the previous episodes for any of the 10 soaps she watches daily. This is how the story goes in that episode, ok... to be honest this is what goes on in that soap for the whole week. There's this woman (women are always categorized into two, the evil or the deity). This one is evil and tries to ruin her brother who has a goddess (not a real one, just another word for deity... wanted to explain that coz who knows somebody might just read this and think of another show where laxmi and vishnu , Gods of wealth and protection and incidentally husband and wife come and live on earth with no financial security and this evil woman tries to ruin them).... (I just have to stop writing things in braces, shouldnt i? stuff in the braces exceed the real story). Anyways, this ends the first episode... what we have now is an evil woman with a brother who has a goddess as a wife and we'll be referring to the husband and wife as the divine family henceforth. The divine family is trying to build a house. So, they buy bricks, cement packets etc etc and store them on their site of building. (Thats the second episode for you guys)... The third episode shows how this evil woman employs an evil saint man (hi hi, an oxymoron) to bring heavy rainfall to the area which will in turn ruin the bricks and cement bags (She's really practical.. dont u think?)... The guys does that for a mere 5000 rupees. Rains lash out in all places except at the divine family's site. The plan goes a waste as the real goddess kaali protects the divine family. Fourth episode done. The fifth episode starts with the evil woman jumping up and down while the saint man explains that he can ask Mr. Varunan (the rain god) to come but cant tell him where to come (ok, the pun is not intended). Well, he also points out that he had said "Conditions Apply" while finalising the deal but the evil woman hadnt heard it (well, that didnt happen... just my imagination). And the second half of the episode goes on to show how thankful the divine family is to the reall goddess.... So, how many of you think this is something you would want to watch?

This blog lifted from http://wisedonkey.blogspot.com/2005/01/7-things-you-could-have-said-but-didnt.html has been my favourite entry of all times. I hope "wisedonkey" doesnt mind me flicking her post. Its on the father of our nation, Mahatma Gandhi.

To many, today, your birthday, might just represent a holiday.Or the smiling face on the currency. I dont think you were perfect, who is ? To me, you represent the belief that the path is as important as the goal. When 22 policemen were done to death, in Chauri Chaura, I can think of 7 things u could have said :

   I didnt do it, so i am not responsible

   My followers didnt do it . Its a frame

   My followers were provoked

   22 lives. what about the millions of Indian lives!

   Goal justifies the attimes unfortunate Path we have to follow

   They were policemen, its similar to killing a soldier in war

   They weren't civilians leave alone children

   Appoint a committee

But you decided to call off the Non Cooperation Movement itself!
Hope that I discover your spirit in me, everyday, and not just on your birthday.

Posted on 2nd October 2004 in O3

Meenaxi - Yeh Rishta (Hindi)
Jeans - Vaarayen thozhi (Tamil)
Thulladha manamum thullum - Vanna Nilave (Tamil)
1942 A Love Story - Rim Jhim Rim Jhim (Hindi)
Eric Clapton - Here 't is
Jeans - Theme Music (Tamil)
Eric Clapton - Blow Wind Blow
Illayaraja - Inraikku enindha anandhame (Tamil)
Illayaraja - Mayanginen sola thayanginen (Tamil)
Gulaam - Aati Kya Khandala (Hindi)
Eric Clapton - Bell Bottom Blues
Lakshya - Kitni Baatein (Hindi)
Anbe Sivam - Poo Vasam (Tamil)
Yuva - Yakkai Thiri (Hindi)
Eric Clapton - It hurts me too
Minnale - Ore Nyabagam (Tamil)
Sangamam - Oru Murai (Tamil)
Minnale - Vaseegara (Tamil)
Requiem for a dream - Theme music
Savage Garden - Hold me
Kothalsavady lady (Tamil)
Eric Clapton - Nobody knows you when
Agni Natchathiram - Raja Rajathi (Tamil)
Sachein - Vadi Vadi (Tamil)
TajMahal - Kuliruthu Kuliruthu (Tamil)

A list of songs played by winamp in my comp yesterday. What mood do you think it was in ?

Violence is bad. Prohibit showing it in films.
Drugs kill people. Make them illegal.

Is this government stand helping people turning to violence and drugs? The answer is a big no. It is only creating more violence and lots of deaths due to the illegal procurement of these drugs. The problem with violence is, i think, is that it is not violent enough. In a film, when you see a man shot, we see him clenching the wound, falling down and rendering two pages of psentimental dialogues before dying. But when someone is shot really, what happens is not a very pretty scene. The victim goes into a state of shock: pasty face, severe trembing, eyes rolling backwards. No coherent dialogue passes out of your mouth but dinner surely does, on its way out. And theres an abundant amount of blood. So, what do we get showing this grossness on screen? we get people to hate violent acts. Nobody would want another person's blood, vomit and other bodily fluids in front of them. The current trend just makes people beleive that violence is an easy way out of a mess, not that it is a mess in itself.

Drugs. What do we get banning cocaine, crack or mariajuana, just illegal ways of procuring them. Drug taking is not wrong--if it is, then cigarrettes and alcohol should be banned first-- whats wrong is drug abuse. Nicotine, the most addictive of all drugs is not banned but marijuana, with a lot of medicinal properties is. what does this lead to? medical disadvantages and mostly unsafe ways of procuring drugs leading to AIDS (due to reuse of syringes).

Falling under the same category is homosexuality. why does the US government want to ban it? What f****** business is it of the government to decide on who somebody must or must not love and have sex with.

In India, the previous government was trying something along the same lines when it tried to saffronise (or whatever) the laws. The forefathers of India, of respect to India's democracy, had separate laws for Hindus, Muslims etc etc based on their religious practices eg: the marriage acts. The government tried to make everything into one law, the law of the land, based on Hindu principles. Thanks to the other parties, the law never saw light. In my opinion, the government is present only for keeping the borders secure and maintaining the economic condition of the country. it doesnt have anything to do with what you and me do (read or watch) inside the confines of our homes without any intrusion to others.

If you want to read more about these ideas: http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/aint/toc.htm 

Why do some days end up like today?
shining sun, warm weather, everyone with a smile
but a darkness inside, a chill running down my spine
I want to cry out loud but there are no tears

What went wrong? nothing, nothing could go wrong
whats disturbing me? Me, i am disturbing myself
sometimes u just feel sad, sad for none, sad for nothing
sad because of what you are, sad just to be sad

Is someone making me feel this way? No. the problem lies within.
How long will i hide under my dry sense of humour and my ideal thoughts
When will i ever get the real me out?
the one with no pretentions, no inhibitions!!

why do some days end up like today?
I just want to run away, run away from the world,
from everybody i know, from me
I just want to cry out loud but i cant.

The Red Dress (Movie: Requiem for a dream)
written by Hubert Selby Jr. & Darren Aronofsky, from the novel by Hubert Selby Jr.

Her addiction to diet pills slowly increasing, Sara Goldfarb (Ellen Bursytn) explains to her son (addicted to heroin, unbeknownst to Sara) the feeling of being old and useless. A beautifully intense and sad monologue.

Harry: Ma....Ma...you've got to cut that stuff loose. I'm telling ya, it's no good.
Sara: What do you mean, it's no good? 25 pounds I've lost!
Harry: (shouting) Big deal! So what? You want to be a dope fiend for Christ's sake?
Sara: What, what is with the dope fiend? Am I foaming at the mouth or something? He's the nice doctor.
Harry: I'm telling you, that croaker is no good!
Sara: How come you know so much, huh? How come you know more about medicine than a doctor?
Harry: Believe me, Ma, I know. Alright? You get strung out for Christ's sake.
Sara: Oh, c'mon! I almost fit into my red dress! The one I wore to your high school graduation? The one your father liked so much. Oh, I remember how he looked at me in that red dress. (sighs)
Harry: Ma -- what's the big deal about the red dress?
Sara: I'm gonna wear it on -- (realizes) -- oh, you don't know! I'm going to be on television! I got a call and an application!
Harry: C'mon, Ma, who's pulling your leg?
Sara: No, no, I'm telling ya. I'm going to be a contestant on television! I don't know when yet, they haven't told me when yet, but you'll see how proud you are when you see your mother in her red dress and golden shoes.
Harry: What's the big deal about being on television? Those pills you're taking will kill you before you get on for Christ's sake!
Sara: Big deal? You drove up in a cab. Did you see who had the best seat? I'm somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they'll all like me. I'll tell them about you, your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight. To fit in a red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow alright. (sighs) What have I got, Harry? Hm? Why should I even make the bed or wash the dishes? I do them. But why should I? I'm alone. Your father's gone. You're gone. I've no one to...care for. What have I got, Harry? ......I'm lonely. (starting to cry a little) I'm old.
Harry: You've got friends, Ma.
Sara: Ahh, it's not the same. They don't need me. I like the way I feel. I like thinking about the red dress and the television and you and your father! Now when I get the sun I smile!

I had a chat with one of my friends(she) living in the south-west recently and this is what transpired. Have a lot of "lessons learnt" from this chat. Read through it, the lessons are at the end

[11:55] Friend: it's blazing hot outside here...prime summer
[11:55] Me: oops... yup... its hot here itself... i can imagine there
[11:56] Friend: yup being a desert it's got it's heat
[11:58] Me: absolutely right... u knwo what, we should invent an AC dress.. :)
[11:58] Friend: haha..  thats a gud 1
[11:59] Friend: we shud try to implement that 1 y'know... it wud b a blast
[11:59] Me: seriously... sbdy has actually done a version of it...
[12:00] Me: one with lots of holes in it u know... so all the heat just escapes from ur body..
[12:00] Me: ... its called rags.. :))... was not a big success, i guess.. :)
[12:00] Friend: wat r trying to do kill me in laughs today
[12:00] Me: [12:24] Me: so... about the AC dress?? what do u think we should call it?.. :)
[12:24] Friend: cool dress
[12:24] Me: :))..:))... good one
[12:26] Me: thinking about it... people will say, "Hey, thats a cool dress"
[12:26] Me: and the wearer will say, " of course, and its really cool inside too.."
[12:26] Me: there goes our ad
[12:27] Friend: oh god...that's gr8 y'know... haha
[12:28] Me: :))... we have the marketing part ready... we need just the product.. :))
[12:29] Friend: true
[12:29] Me: we work just like the industry... perfect
[12:29] Friend: i guess ur ri8
[12:30] Me: :)
[12:31] Friend: n wat else is left to do for the product?
[12:32] Me: may be we can take the old rags and fit the holes with AC activated fibres..
[12:32] Friend: that'll cost a lot but.. cost-effective is budget remember...
[12:32] Me: ... we can then say, exchange ur old rags for the new cool dress
[12:32] Me: better than stitching the whole dress with Ac activated fibres... right?
[12:33] Friend: yeah i guess
[12:33] Me: that'll cost more... so old clothes with patches of ACAFibres
[12:33] Me: sounds good
[12:33] Friend: maybe ur ri8
[12:33] Me: :))... just shows how jobless we both are.. :))
[12:34] Friend: hey ur absolutely ri8...:)
[12:34] Me: but still it needs two geniuses to come up with this... right?
[12:35] Friend: yeah
[12:35] Me: ok... what else should we do for the dress?
[12:36] Friend: mm..color shades
[12:36] Friend: it shud have different colors
[12:36] Me: right.. for marketing it
[12:36] Me: How do we get in temperature control?
[12:37] Friend: shud make it as per climate of the area
[12:37] Me: cool... so autodetect system.. ok?
[12:37] Friend: i guess ya
[12:38] Me: i am going to post our discussion in my blog.. :)... for the benefit of the general public

Ok.. What lessons from this chat? Well, with a huge drive for innovation from lots of companies to maintain their competetive advantage... i am going to list down a few points dervied from this chat on innovating ideas and how to implement them. You might actually wonder how i could probably derive from this chat, so i am going to tell you how i derived at it as well (in the brackets)

• Necessity is the mother of all invention. You cannot innovate if you don't recognize the problem you are facing (here, the heat of the desert)
• Reuse, always try to reuse anything already existing (Rags, remember.. haha)
• Think about marketing it as well (the ad)
• Baseline with industry standards (how we are following the industry)
• Have a lot of spare time. You can't innovate when you are totally tied up with day-to-day work. (totally jobless..)
• Perfectly balanced team. Marketing oriented ppl, techie ppl etc etc (She comes up with colors and me with temp. control)
• Motivation and confidence ([12:34] Me: but still it needs two geniuses to come up with this... right?)
• Publicity. Let people know what you are upto (Posting it here)
• Automate. A man let inbetween things might screw up the whole thing. (automatic temp control)

That should be enough. Also, the "ACAFibres" is a copyright and "cool dress" is a trademark. I am also trying to get a patent on the idea... so, dont dare copy them.. :)))

Ok... Quite sorry that i have to start this post with "I was in the bathroom", but can't help it. Anyways, I was in the bathroom and the comp was singing out some hard rock song that my room mate normally listens to... I dont understand how he listens to that crap, but thats totally another topic i guess.. :).. And then i was thinking, "How nice would it be if it played sanwariya song from swades". What happened? This stupid rock song ended and sanwariyan started out as the next number. This is not the first time this is happening and i was just wondering, do human brain waves generated in the bathroom have something to do with the computer signals in the bedroom? ok... just kidding. The question is do human brain waves influence a computer program? Ok... it is probably plain probability-working-against-me-but-ladyluck-working-for-me phenomenon but then i would really like to beleive i had these powers u know.

On a more serious note, it is wildly beleived that human brains have such power in them. If it works with a machine, I am not sure but para normal powers like telepathy does seem to exist. How else do we explain us turning to catch someone looking at us in a huge crowd. How else do we explain calling up a friend just to hear her tell that he/she was thinking about calling us just then. It seems that telepathic dreams occur when our thoughts come and go at a very high frequency, or something like that. Lovers, it seems, are at a very high frequency and therefore are telepathic to each other's thoughts. Ok roomie, u now know why you got a message from ur GF saying "what are you upto", the same time you were sendng the same message to her... :)

On Human Brain-Machine Interaction, it seems that an experiment was conducted with a machine that produces 0 and 1 randomly. The machine works in its limits (i.e. the random pattern of 0 and 1 was just random and nothing out of the ordinary). But just before and during some world event like diana's funeral, 9/11 and the tsunami, there was a major shift in the randomness. But, it quite didnt register the columbia crash, the Iraq invasion etc . So, might not be true actually, but it sounds amazing. Levitation is one such thing, you lift your body by just thinking about it with a mind blowing concentration. Quite controversial but quite interesting.

Ok. Now, any satirical comments, I am going to think about having you eaten by a rat while i am browsing through the winamp playlist from my bathroom.

"Honey", monica tells chandeler very sweetly , "don't call our wedding a party again. You might not get invited to it". These two probably represent the two major factions of opinion. One, that wedding is just a party and spending a fortune on it is totally baseless. The other, that a wedding day is the most important day of your life and that the money spent is worth it.

One reason people give for not having a lavish wedding is because they say that they could rather donate all the money they spend on the wedding. Though being in any of these factions is completely a personal choice, i beleive this reason is just stupid. By actually arranging for a full-fledged indian wedding, u employ atleast 50 people totally for that day and i beleive it does more to the society than just donating all that money. Indian weddings are something of a two day affair and we employ people for everything, to setup a wedding stage, for music, food, serving and even some individuals for petty jobs. Unlike what many people say, marriages are not a total waste of money. They generate a huge amount of employment. It is a profitable industry with not many huge enterprises that manage everything from the head to the toe, thus giving very small groups a chance to survive.

I personally belong to the first faction though. I do not want to have a lavish wedding because i dont have that much money and i do not want to get introduced to my "mother's grand mom's brother's second wife's sons" and many other such relatives on my wedding day. I will probably see all these people again only when they die. i want to have only people i am close with to be at my wedding. But my parents want my marriage to be something of a global affair... they would even bring the media in if they could. Anyways, thats going to be a very bitter fight to have my wedding by my own preferences... :(

Bandipur is a great place. The forest is just gorgeous. I had been there for the last weekend and it was fun. I could have used better company but then who wants to listen to the blabbering humans when nature is talking so intimately with you. The nilgiri eco-reserve consists of the bandipur forest, mudumalai and another forest. Its just the same forest but named differently coz they are in three different indian states. Lots of animals , mainly the tiger and the asian elephant, you can also see peacocks, indian gaur (indian version of the bison) , spotted and sambha deer. We werent able to see any tiger or any elephant, bad luck. But we sure saw some tiger pug marks. We were also told that a tiger was spotted the previous day there... but i hear, the people there always tell that to keep the hopes of the tourists high. Took some snaps, but i dont think they have come out well.

There was this one guy i wanted to talk about. A well educated doctor who saves people's lives, openly commended on the good job done my modi in letting the hindus kill the muslims in the gujarat tragedy 2 years back. he even argued that this country is a hindu's house and that muslims cannot just enter it. I didnt even want to argue with him... just moved away from him and kept a distance. I dont know how these people can be so narrow-minded. Seems India is his house, i doubt if he even votes.

Anyways, to brighter topics, the trek was really beautiful. Lots of trees, lots of wind and cricket sound. The forest has a very sweet music always playing... the sounds of crickets, birds and animals add up to a pretty good one. The six hours of walking up and down tired me out though. I have never slept better than that day...

I was about 10 years old, was just learning to ride a bicycle without the supporting wheels. I was driving in one of the busiest streets one day. Suddenly a bright glare struck me... took me by surprise, blinded me for a while and made me lose my balance and fall. I was hurt but i was all the more excited. Even before getting up and wiping the mud off, I started shouting, the euphoria visible in my voice, "Sun, Another sun, Another sun in the west". My friends had to plead with that bald guy not to hit me and I had to do some fast running to escape from his clutches. We saw him often and nick-named him "Sun". His was a huge shining baldness and the litres of oil applied did a much better job in reflecting light than the moon. We even told him that one day. Poor guy, came running behind us that day. After the escape, we were even talking about how he could have caught us with a simple glare. Nicknaming bald people became our hobby. The Sun's brother was called "Proxi" short of Proxima Centauri, nearest star to the Sun. I should say we got interested in astronomy like this. We wanted to know each and every star's name. The night sky became increasingly interesting. But, thats a completely different story.

All this went on until one day. I was 16. I was taking a bath. I looked down to find out that i had lots of hair on my chest. Hair grows very fast, I thought. Just yesterday, i didnt have any... The simple fact struck me soon enough. I was losing hair, in bunches... I remember being totally off that day. My friends laughed at me.. but thankfully, not for long.. ;)... They joined my side, all within an year. If it had been in the earlier days, we would have held a circus, showing how we can pluck hair out of our head magically and would have made some money but that isn't going to happen... How pitiful, no making any money out of this misery. The only way to sell my hair to someone today is for wigs and who wants natural hair when you've got plenty of artificially coloured hair in the market. Today i see Mr. Sun, I cant laugh, i cant even smile reminiscing those days, i want to cry. I want to check how bad my hair is when compared to him. To my relief, i was only half as bald as the Sun.

Not for long. The other day, I was walking along the road when a sweet little boy came up to me and said, "Uncle, We have named you 'Solar Eclipse'". He was about 10. I laughed out so loud that the kid got scared. "Six more years, my boy, Six more years", I grinded my teeth, "I will have my laugh in six more years". And all the best with your astronomy classes.